Nasruddin was cutting a branch off a tree in his garden one day. While he was sawing, a man passed by in the street and said, "Excuse me, but if continue to saw that branch like that, you will fall down with it." He said this because Nasruddin was sitting Nasruddin said nothing. He thought, "This is some foolish person who has no work to do but go around telling other people what to do and what not to do."
The man continued on his way.
Of course, after a few minutes, the branch fell and Nasruddin fell with it.
"My God!" he cried. "That man knows the future!" He ran after him to ask how long he was going to live. But the man had already gone.
"It depends," answered Nasruddin.
"Well," said the man, "your cow has killed mine."
"Oh," answered Nasruddin. "Everyone knows that a cow cannot think like a human, so a cow is not responsible, and that means that its owner is not responsible either."
"I'm sorry, Judge," said the man. "I made a mistake. I meant that my cow killed yours."
Judge Nasruddin thought for a few seconds and then said, "When I think about it more carefully, this case is not as easy as I thought at first." And then he turned to his clerk and said, "Please bring me that big black book from the shelf behind you..."
Nasruddin had to give a lecture in an university every Saturday, but he did not like this duty very much and was always looking for ways to avoid it. One Saturday he came up with an idea. When he went up to speak to the students, he said to them, "Do y The students were surprised and answered, "No, we don't!" Then Nasruddin said, "Well, if you do not know anything about such an important matter, it is a waste of time for me to talk to you about it." And he went away without speaking to the students.
"Well," said Nasruddin, if some of you know, and some of you do not, those that do know can tell those that do not," and again he went down without saying another word....
- It's all your fault, said his wife, for you should have made sure that the house was locked before we left.
The Neighbor took up the chant:
- You did not lock the windows, said one.
- Why did you not expect this? said another.
- The locks were faulty and you did not replace them, said a third.
- Just a moment, said Nasruddin, surely I am not the only one to blame?
- And who should we blame? they shouted.
- What about the thieves? said Nasruddin. Are they totally innocent?
One day Nasruddin 's wife woke him in the middle of the night and whispered,
- Nasruddin, There is a thief in the kitchen!
- Shhh... Stupid woman! replied Nasruddin. Let him be. Perhaps he find
something then we seize it!
"Well, my writing is so strange that only I can read it, and if I have to travel a long way to read your letter to your wife, it will cost you a lot of money."
Ahmad went out of his house quickly.
Nasruddin was returning home one night with one of his students when he saw a gang of thieves standing in front of a house, trying to break the lock. Nasruddin perceived that he would probably get hurt if he spoke up, so he decided to stay quite and pass by quickly. But his student however, did not understand what was happening so he asked:
- What are all those men standing there doing?
- Shhh! replied Nasruddin. They're playing music!
- But I can't hear anything!
- Well we shall hear the noise tomorrow! Nasruddin said
- What was the quarrel about? wondered his wife when Nasruddin came in.
- It must be our quilt, replied Nasruddin. The quilt is gone, the dispute is ended.